The great, big fattening party!
by Silversnow
Summary: Jin and Heihachi hosts a party for everyone in a huge mansion in USA. Lots of beer and stupid jokes! Reasons for rating inside! FINISHED! ALL GIGGLY AND SHEEIT
1. You're the ninja

Reasons for rating – This story is simply stupid. It has drugs, sex (no details though), swearing, a non-serious attitude towards rape, drunk and gay people in it. And, to top it all, impersonations of Catwoman. If you find that offensive, then please don't read this. Please.

Note for the screaming fans – This is not serious at all. There will be impossible and disgusting character pairings in this. Only Tekken 3 characters. And frankly, I don't give a damn if things in this fic doesn't go well together with the game/-s. This is just 31 pages of pure NONSENSE! The characters will not be much like they are in the game. So don't come saying "No way! Hwoarang would never do that! You're such a (insert whatever you wish)!". This is just something that was created by two coffee-addicts, late at night in front of a relaxing game of Tekken 3. We might be the only one's who thinks this is funny. You be the judge of that!

Oh, yeah, we don't own nuthin'. Especially not Tekken 3 or anything in it or related to it. Try suing me now!

Enjoy this incredibly small entry. Updates in about a week or less.

**FRIDAY AFTERNOON**

Jin stands in the kitchen of his father's old house. In case you'd like to know, he just found out he has owned a huge mansion in USA all his life. From the 1900-th century. However, since Jin is born in the wonderful age of mechanical wonders, the entire house is full of tech marvels, such as automatic doors. Everyone except the front door. Anyway, this takes place there. He's one of the proud arrangers of a great, big, fattening after-party to celebrate the end of the great, big painful tournament. The other great arranger is his grandfather Heihachi, who is right this moment carrying in beer from the basement. Jin makes a mental checklist, running trough all the stuff for the party.

"Beer... hmm, that should last for a while... food, yeah, that should do it... buckets, oh yes, buckets... house, now roach-free. And of course..." with a sly grin on his face, he reaches down into his pocket. "Jin's personal 'happiness balloons'... Got it all covered."

He looks around in the kitchen and then at the clock. It's too early to expect anyone. He sits down, looks at the wall and sighs.

Heihachi mutters about the guts of the youth as he carries in another case of the beer.

"Son of a... damn punk... should... daisy-eater... spanking..." are some of the words zooming happily through the air. He takes one case and then with a shrug takes the last one too. He goes halfway up the stairs then realizes he forgot the bottle-opener down on the floor. He sighs, and in an attack of poor planning, turns around and tries to go down again. No one can be quite sure where stuff went wrong. Maybe it was when his legs tangled into each other, or when he rolled down the stairs, or when he collapsed on the floor, or when the cases came crushing down on him, gently attempting to make his right arm just another part of the floor. Who knows?

The point is, he's severely hurt.

"Jin?" he groans.

"Yeah... yeah..." Jin breathes into the phone, a wide grin on his blushing face. "Ooh, with the honey? Can you do that with honey? Oh, sorry mistress, of course you can, you're the ninja..."

Heihachi recovers from the slight shock of being bested by a case of beer, even if it was heavy. He tries to lift it off with his right hand, but to no avail. It has many sharp ends for old fingers that aren't careful enough. Heihachi mutters and tries to reach the stairs. He stretches out and feels something crack.

"Ow! My wagging-finger! Well, fine..."

He looks around, takes the bottle-opener and stretches out with that it his hand.

"Uuuurgh... just a... little... cloooser!"

Surprisingly, the bottle-opener is completely useless. He sighs and starts to drum against the floor with his fingers.

"Jin!" he shouts. He seems to realize something. "Uh-oh. Better get out of here before the…"

Sadly, the completely mechanical door slams shut and it clicks loudly and evilly as it locks itself. Heihachi glares at the door.

"I hate technology…" he growls. He takes a deep breath.

"JIN! Old man suffering down here! JIIIN!"

Still no response. Heihachi thinks he can hear howling from far away.

"Hello...?"

He can imagine his flashlight flicker and die...


	2. It's a cactus

**EARLY EVENING**

Jin opens the door. Lei stand there, with a little cactus in his hands. Jin gives it a curious look.

"It's a cactus." Lei say.

"Uh..."

"I can't get it off."

"Well, I..."

"Some dog-raping bastard downtown threw it at me, and I can't get it off."

Jin gasps.

"You've arrested Paul! And he'll never come out again! Finally!"

Lei frown.

"Did I just say that...?"

Jin ignores him. He's performing a happy little tap-dance.

"Paul is in jail, Paul is in jail..." he sings.

Lei stretch out his hands.

"Shut up and get this off me."

"You're unusually rude for a buddhan, you know."

"I'm not buddhan before I get off my shift. Now get the damn cactus off my hands."

Lei and Jin goes into the kitchen and sees some more people standing there. Anna, Nina, Law and Hwoarang stands there, looking slightly uncomfortable in each other's company.

"How did you guys get in?" Jin asks. Law (who was happily chewing on a big piece of cheese) shrugs.

"Backdoor." He manages to spittle.

Cut to the door. The majestic backdoor is quite mutilated, but still hanging on. Like a brave soldier, it... oh, wait, there it goes. The poor door is off its hinges. Get it? Off its hinges... well, fine, so much for trying to bring a little comedy into your sad little life.

Nina looks around.

"Say... where's Paul?"

Anna glares at her.

"Couldn't you have waited with that until you've drunk at least ten bottles of beer?"

"What? I just want to 'talk' to him."

Anna shudders.

"And you think I'm slutty..."

Law spittle something.

"What?" Nina asks him.

"If you want Paul to 'talk' to you, all you have to do is come closer than ten feet to him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asks Ogre, who had entered through the backdoor (or at least through the back doorpost) as well. He wears a brand new loincloth. It looks goooood.

"Oh, come on Ogre, you don't know? Paul sleeps with anything that walks on two legs. And he does it when they're least expecting it too."

"Yeah." Says everyone in a very South Park-ish way.

"We've ALL been raped by Paul Phoenix." Jin says dramatically.

Most people shudder. Everyone but Law.

"Oh, come on guys, it's not that bad."

"Ew." Says Jin shortly and with lots of feeling.

"Can't we stop him then?"

"I've tried fending him off with a pointy stick, but he came into my house at night, gagged me with an apple and some duct tape and then tied me up like some damn hostage." Anna mutters. Hwoarang blinks.

"Man, why does that turn me on...?"

"I mean get him arrested." Ogre interrupts.

"Weeeell... he's not really done anything wrong." Lei guess. He really is clueless. His hands burns and stings.

"Yes he has! Rape is a crime! Send him to jail!"

"Are you insane! That's what he wants! We've sent him to prison 13 times, and he just keeps dropping the soap!"

"Eeeewww..." Jin says loudly, as if to make everyone else stop talking about Paul.

"Or, sometimes, he pushes the other men so that they drop the stupid soap."

"Eeeeewwww..." Jin says again, give up and leave the room.

"And 7 of the 13 times, he and Hwoarang shared a cell!"

"Hey, you promised..." Hwoarang tries to mumble.

"Did Hwoarang drop the soap?" Nina asks, glancing strangely at him.

"Are you kidding? From the stories I've heard, he threw soaps all over the place. Isn't that right, 'Vanilla Bitch'?"

Hwoarang bows his head in shame.

"Yes sir."

There is an uncomfortable silence after that. Law is still chewing his cheese really noisily. Nina makes a weird sound.

"This phone is all sticky..."

Anna pokes it.

"Ew, what is that? It looks like..."

"Please, Anna, no need to get into close examinations."

"But it's..."

"Anna!"

Anna and Nina glare at each other for a while. Ogre hums loudly.

"If we can't send Paul to jail, maybe we can get revenge on him some other way."

"I thought you hadn't been raped by him." Lei says, surprised. He feels all queasy when he gets the weird images of Paul and Ogre in his mind.

"I haven't, and I'd like it to stay that way."

"Good idea. Now what did you think?"

"Is there anyone but me he hasn't raped?"

"Uuuhm... the bears, Nina, Gon, Heihachi I think, Dr. Boskonovitch, Mokujin, Gun Jack, and possibly Bryan. Why?"

Ogre grins evilly.

Law stops chewing his piece of cheese and say with a slightly disgusted facial expression:

"Who the hell wants to get it on with Bryan?"

"Is there anyone of them you think he'd like to rape?" Ogre asks and tries to open a bar of chocolate, which is very complicated for him without a manual because he has guarded a temple in Mexico for a hundred years.

I mean, how is he supposed to know how to do that? It took him two years to figure out that the shiny stuff wasn't supposed to be eaten.

"Heihachi and Gun Jack, possibly. Who knows, he might have a robot fetish." Lei adds when he sees the strange looks he's given.

"What about me?" Nina asks, slightly hurt.

"No one here would like to rape you, you've kicked way too many balls for that."

"It's not my fault, it's all I can do!"

"How is he supposed to rape Gun Jack? He's got no... er... suitable place." Anna asks.

"He's got a mouth, right?" says Hwoarang.

"Shut up, Vanilla Bitch."

"That's it!" Ogre cries triumphantly, slams his fist into the table and throws away the unopened, yet massacred bar of chocolate. "We can invite Paul and Gun Jack, and give Gun Jack some kind of weird robot-reward if he bites his wiener off!"

Deep, deep silence.

"NO!" cries Nina, Law and Hwoarang suddenly.

"YES!" shouts Lei, Jin and Anna (Jin still being in another room, remember that, for 'tis important).

"Oh, I never liked you until now, Ogre." Says Anna admiringly. Ogre looks both frightened and victorious on the same time.

"Uh... thanks. I guess." Ogre responds and looks at a point behind Anna's right ear.

Lei lean out of the doorway.

"Hey Jin! Call Paul and Gun Jack, invite them over!" he shouts.

"Okay!" Jin screams back. "Hand me the phone!"

Lei reach for the phone, and sees Nina and Anna shaking their heads. He leans out again.

"You get it yourself!"

"Fine!"

Jin goes towards the phone in the living room, raises the speaker towards his ear and starts dialling a number...


	3. YMCA

Jin suddenly hears Pauls voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello!" He says happily. Jin hear Pauls music in the background, it's YMCA with Village People. Jin's stunned for a slight second but replies.

"Is it Paul?" Paul giggles excitingly loud and says:

"Jin? Or is it Hwoarang, you sound the same, or is it you James? Coz, if it's you, then you are such a cruel boy now"...he goes on and on, mentioning names beyond Jin's limits.

"Errr...it's Jin I..." Law suddenly pushes Jin away and grabs the phone quickly.

"Hellooo Paul!" Law says excitingly and Jin can hear Paul's response on the other end. He suddenly feels a need to throw up quickly and violently.

"Law! Baby! How's you?"

"Oooh, I'm just super, you know... Hey, Paul, guess who I ran into last week. It was JOHN! And he's gotten, like, SO fat, and..."

"Law. Law?"

"...he wore a blue sweater. Can you believe it? A BLUE one! It does like so not match his eyes, you know? I think he should consider hiring a professional..."

"Law?"

"...who can pick out his clothes for him, I mean, wearing blue clothes so close to those eyes is just wrong, and..."

"Law!" Paul shouts. Law stops talking.

"What?"

"Why are you and Jin on the same phone, talking about John's sweater?"

Law can't find a good answer to that. Then he remembers what he was supposed to say.

"Uh... no reason. Listen, Paul, I have something veeery important to say, but first, this party seems like it's becoming a snore, do you know a party animal?"

Law can almost sense Paul looking at his drawers stuffed with small, black books.

"Oh, sure! How about Constance, Caroline, Ophelia, Cecil, Olga, David, Eric, Zelda, Fahroud, Vladimir, 'Chief Tomahawk'..."

"Paul?" Law tries to interrupt.

"...and 'Lady Wish-'n'-whip', Jared, Annabelle, Hans, Sven, Denise, Clark, N!gatumba, Sarah or Michael?"

"Paul, dearest? Your voice is very annoying right now. Anyway, do you know a party animal that is a **straight** man?"

There is a shocked silence at the other side.

"What? Do you mean someone who's not really sure yet? Do you feel like converting someone?"

"No. I mean someone who is straight as an arrow. And male. Born male. Still male. Well?"

Paul mutters something.

"That would be Eddy, I guess."

"Great, Paul! Give me his number."

"Do I have to, Law? I'm worried about you."

Law clears his throat in a very demanding manner and writes the phone number down on a small piece of paper.

"So, can I come too?"

"Sure."

"When and where?"

"Jin's house, at..."

Law put his hand over the phone and turns to Jin.

"When is everyone supposed to be here?"

"8 p.m." Jin replies quickly.

Law removes his hand.

"8 p.m., dearest." He says with a big smile.

"Okay, see you there. Hugs and kisses!"

"Paul, wait! Stay away from Gun... hello? Paul?"

Jin grins evilly at him.

"I'd cackle maniacally if I wasn't worried about my teeth."

Law glares and leaves the room to get more cheese. Anna comes out into the living room.

"I thought it was 6 p.m." she whispers.

"Am I the only one who wants to keep Paul as far away from me as possible?"

Anna is quiet for a while, and then pats him on his shoulder.

"Good work, Jin. Good work."

Jin picks up the phone, looks at Eddy's number and calls him. A woman picks it up.

"Hola?"

"Yeah, hi, is Eddy there?"

"Que?"

"Eddy? EDDY GORDO!" Jin says loudly. Like most people who talk to someone who doesn't speak their language, he speaks loudly and slowly. The woman in the other end sighs, says something in Spanish and cries Eddy's name out. Jin taps his foot against the floor.

"It's Eddy." Eddy mutters in the other end.

"Hi Eddy! What's up?"

"Jin? Why are YOU calling? How'd you get my number?"

"I dunno. Listen, Eddy. You know the tournament? Well, I was thinking that since we are all very very happy it's over, we could get together and simply celebrate because it's over. You know where my house is, right? Well, we're all going to be here for a day or two. There'll be music, beer, about 4 or 5 chicks and food. And very little Paul. So what do you say?"

Eddy is quiet. Jin rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Fine. Wanna party?"

"Party?" Eddy's face brightens up. "Party! Sure!"

"Hey, great! 6 p.m., my house. Bring a friend!"

Eddy hangs up and starts thinking. He wondered whom to bring. He picks the phone up again, lets his fingers spin a little over the dial and then changes his mind. He turns on a giant speaker on his lawn instead. He takes out the microphone, flips it on and says loudly:

"BEER!"

He switches it off and waits. Within five minutes, someone bangs on the door and repeatedly rings the doorbell. A small red light flashes on his phone, Eddy presses the little button next to it and holds.

"Errrr, mr Gordo." A guard says "there's a muscular, scarred drunkard who claims he knows you. Should we 'take care' of him, sir?" Some fingers crack in the background.

"BEER!" Bryan screams. Eddy turns towards a goon.

"No, that's not necessary, just bring out the limo, please."

The guard replies reluctantly "He seems a little, hostile sir."

"He's just violent when he's drunk, and he's always drunk."

Jin picks the phone up and dials another number. He taps his foot against the floor and listens to a heated discussion between Anna and Hwoarang. He suddenly hears children screaming in the other end of the line.

"PABLO! You put that down RIGHT NOW!" a male voice screams uncomfortably close to the phone.

"King?"

"Who is this? If it's you, 'Weird show', then I've already said I will kick your..."

"No, no. It's me, Jin."

"Jin? Jin Kazama? Why are you calling an orphanage? Look..." he lowers his voice. "If you're calling for Law or Paul, I've already told them what they're doing already is barely legal as it is."

Jin shudders.

"Nooo... no that's not it. I'm calling to remind you of the party. You know?"

"Oh. Right. Hey, Jin, some of us have jobs, you know. I can't dump all these pipsqueaks onto poor mrs. Liebenbaum tonight. Sorry, but I just can't."

Jin will not give up. He will now use the ultimate persuasion. Brace yourselves if you have to. He takes a deep breath...

"Oh, come oooon!"

"No Jin. I can't. Really."

"Oh, come ooooon!"

"No. Quit asking."

"Come..."

"Stop it, Jin."

Jin thinks rapidly for a moment, and then gets a brilliant idea.

"But it's charity! You'll help an orphanage! I promise."

"A party for charity? I'm not that stupid."

Jin starts sobbing loudly.

"But... but... think of the children, King. The children."

King sighs.

"Jin..."

Jin now cries in a very silly way. He's not a very good actor.

"All the poor children, King!"

"Alright, alright... I'll come. Fine. Urgh... Mrs. Liebenbaum is going to kill me. I'll be there soon. Hey, hey HEY! Ricardo! Do you remember what I told you? If you touch that again, I will punish you most severely! HEY!"

Jin hangs up, dries his tears and cracks his fingers.

"I rule. Go Jii-iin, go Jii-iin, it's my birthday, it's my birthday, drama classes finally pays off, oooh yeah!" Jin's dancing a little bit, wiggles his hips when Anna suddenly steps in again after chasing Ogre, who wasn't going quite fast enough to be called running. Anna stops and looks at Jin's ass, wiggling in a very hypnotising way, for her. She frowns.

"I don't feel attracted to that. How weird."

Jin glares at her. Then he continues looking.

"Jin."

"What?"

"Don't look at them like that."

"Why not? The twins just there for show anyway."

Anna sighs.

"That's what happens when you avoid taking biology classes. Oh, Ooogre?"

She leaves. Nina steps into the room.

"Everyone's trying to get into each other's pants. And the scary thing is that no one is drunk yet."

Jin smiles at her.

"Speaking of pants..."

Nina makes a grimace.

"Uuuh... maybe later."

There is an embarrassing silence. Jin suddenly realizes something.

"Did you leave Hwoarang and Law alone in the kitchen together?"

"Yeah. What's the big deal?"

"But they're gay! Gay people alone together in MY kitchen! I must stop them!"

He heroically leaves the room. The doorbell rings. Nina guesses that no one will open it, and decides to go it herself. She opens it and gets a bouquet of flowers in her face. She takes it and gives Mokujin a weird look.

"Why the hell are you here?"

Mokujin shrugs and squeezes past her. He goes directly into the living room and sits down in the couch. He stares blankly in front of him. Nina puts the bouquet on a table in the hallway and gives them a strange look. Then she leaves them there. She realizes something.

"Jin?" she calls.

"Yeah?"

"Weren't Heihachi supposed to be here with you?"

"Yeah. Well, he's around somewhere, I'm sure."

"Ah. What about Xiaoyu?"

"You know what, I have no idea. She said she had to take the bus from the airport and would be here around 3p.m."

"No! No, please God, no! No, get away from me!" Xiaoyu screams. She sits in the corner of her student apartment and stares in terror at Dr. Boskonovitch, who is trying to squeeze in through the window.

"Come here honey..." he wheezes. She gets a good idea.

"If you come any closer I'll scream!"

"You already have."

"Oh yeah, right... But then I'll just scream louder!"

"Mhm..." mumbles Dr. B. who is struggling with the curtains.

Jin comes out into the hallway. He has a relieved look on his face.

"They were talking about sushi."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And Lei has promised to keep an eye on them. I'm ever so happy. I also just have one more phone call to make!"

"Go you..." Nina said without any real enthusiasm.

"Indeed!" Jin says and takes the phone. He looks at a number scribbled on the wall and dials it. The person on the other end replies surprisingly fast.

"Make it quick."

"Yoshimitsu?"

"Yeah. I know it's you Jin, but I said make it quick, it's commercial on TV."

"Remember it was a party at my place today?"

"You told me that?"

"I sent a letter."

"Don't you mean e-mail?"

"No, I don't use the internet."

"Then I didn't read it. You've fallen behind, Jin. Way behind!"

"Whatever, Yoshimitsu! Are you coming or what?"

"Why should I?"

"Uuuuh..."

Jin thought of some way to lure Yoshimitsu. He glanced at the TV.

"You can watch the sumo wrestling games on my wide-screen, home-theatre wall TV. It's got great resolution and surround audio. And, uh... A playstation 2."

Yoshimitsu gasps.

"Really...? You've made me the happiest man alive."

"Come over right now. Or there will be no fat men beating each other for you."

"Sure thing. I'll bring my own popcorn."

"Uh... why?"

Yoshimitsu is quiet for a while.

"I won't reply to that, but I'll soon be there."

"Great."

Jin hangs up and cracks his fingers.

"Master of persuasion." He says happily, and then gets a little depressed look as he watches Nina. "If it just worked on Nina."


	4. Mr DJ

Lei goes out into the backyard and lights a cigarette. He stands there, allowing it to smoulder for a while.

"Psst!"

He looks around, trying to see what's making that sound.

"Lei! Lei, over here!" something by the fence whispers. He goes over there.

"Yes?"

"Is this Jin's house?"

Lei turns around and watches Jin's impressive, inherited mansion, the only house on the hill and the only house he would have a reason to visit. He decides not to make any comments.

"Yes."

"Good... Is Paul there?"

"No, he won't be here for a while."

"Wonderful!"

Julia climbs over the face and falls down on the grass. She gets up quickly and brushes some grass off her shirt.

"Phew! So... having fun yet, Lei?"

"No, not really. People aren't drunk yet, so I have no one to beat up."

"Ah." She says in a tone of complete understanding. "I thought you don't smoke."

"I don't, I just like to have stuff in my hands that burn." He then adds a demonic laughter.

"Yeeeaah! Who doesn't?" Julia rolls her eyes as if she was trying to see the evil green leprechaun who told Lei to burn things."So who are here?"

Lei thinks for a moment.

"Apart from you and me, it's Law, Hwoarang, Nina, Anna, Jin, Ogre, possibly Heihachi and Mokujin."

"Mokujin? What thenature's name is he doing here?"

"I have no idea. Maybe he wants a change of environment."

They laugh at the poor joke. Not that any of them actually got it, but it sounded like a joke and the other one was laughing, so they did to. They eventually fell silent.

"So... nice place he's got here." Julia tries to start another conversation.

"It really is, don't you think? Just wait until midnight when the walls in the bathroom starts to bleed."

"Bleed...?"

Julia has a shocked expression on her pretty little fake-Indian face.

"But I can't stand the sight of blood!"

Lei rolls his eyes.

"Then stay away from the bathroom at midnight, Julia. Even I can figure that out. Sheesh..."

Julia looks a little embarrassed.

"Eeer... yeah. I will. You can tell this house is haunted. Did you notice?"

"No. How?"

"The statues of lions at the gate. They're a sure sign."

Meanwhile, at the gate, Eddy and Bryan just arrived. Eddy is looking at one of the lions.

"He doesn't look like a partaay duuude..." Eddy says to Bryan, who tries desperately to see one of the lions clearly. He waves a bottle of beer at it.

"'ere... 'ave a BEER!" he slurs. Eddy gives him a questioning look.

"Bryan, that bottle is empty."

"Sho? 'e's made a shtone, Eddy, 'e donnae care..."

Eddy takes out a hilarious little party hat from the limo and puts it on the lions head.

"Better! Now let's partaay!" he says happily and blows one of those hilarious little party horns.

Julia taps her foot against the ground.

"So are you going to be here all night?"

Lei shrugs.

"Not if I find something better to do. And that's not very hard, now is it? You see, I secretly loathe the lot of you and will eventually kill one of you when my deeply set emotional issues surface in the morning."

Julia stares at him.

"Did you mean that?"

"Of course I did, Julia. But I'm not worried, you won't remember anything tomorrow morning anyway. Believe me..." he says in a very suspicious way, grinds the cigarette into the ground and goes back inside with an evil snicker. Julia still stands there, too shocked to say anything. Then she frowns.

"What in Mother earth's name has happened to that door?"

Eddy storms in through the door, looking around eagerly.

"Where's the partaay? Where, where, where?"

Bryan comes in after him, looking around in his own personal ale fog.

"Beer?" he grunts.

Jin comes to greet them and then stops, a little confused.

"Wait... you made it all the way here from Brazil in that short time?"

Eddy looks confused too.

"I was in Brazil? Why would Bryan live in Brazil?"

"Who's Brazil?" Bryan mumbles, still trying to find some beer to spend the night with. Eddy and Jin looks at each other for a while, and then shrugs.

"Whatever. Hey, I brought my DJ along with me, hope you don't mind."

A huge, black man comes in through the door. He's carrying a gigantic CD-player on his shoulder. He waves his hand at Jin in a hip-hopish way.

"Yo bitch!"

Jin stares.

"Uh... yeah, whatever. Put him in the living room, would you?"

The DJ grumbles and leaves. In just a few moments, music can be heard all over the house. Eddy grins happily.

"Great surround-system, Jin! I thought we'd have to stay out of the living room."

"I have a surround-system?"

"BEER!" Bryan bellows happily and stumbles into the kitchen. Julia comes in from the living room. She spots Eddy and Jin and decides to join the crowd.

"Hi Eddy!" she purrs. They glance at her.

"Hi Julia." They say in unison.

"Nice house, Jin! But I won't touch the bathroom."

"You do that." He answers, just barely aware that she just said something.

"Eddy, that guy in the living room, is he yours?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, bet he is."

No one else says anything for a while. Julia finally gets bored and leaves. Jin and Eddy watches her leave the room.

"Phew."

"Finally!"

"She's really annoying."

"Tell me about it."

"Why did you invite her?"

"I didn't. She just showed up."

"Typical Julia."

"Yeah."

They're quiet for a while. Then Eddy gets a look dawning suspicion on his face.

"Hey Jin..." he whispers. "Paul, is he... is he here?"

"Not yet."

"Phew. Thank God!"

"Want a beer?"

"Better get one now before Bryan takes them all."

Eddy leaves to get the bottle of beer (and probably the only beer) for the evening and Jin was right behind him when he suddenly heard a knock on his door. Jin gets to open the door, there stood a little boy-like dummy, he was shaking and was holding a kitchen knife in his hands.

"P-please good sir let me in, it's cold outside and the wolves are after me." The boy said and stared at Jin with his eyes filled with tears.

"Forget it Chucky, I ain't falling for that trick again." The boy-like dummy looks very angry. "Here" Jin says "Have a candy-bar and get outta 'ere." He closes the door.

Roughly about half an hour passes. The doorbell rings. Jin opens it and sees Xiaoyu standing there with Dr. B... She looks slightly disgusted. Jin gives them a surprised look.

"You didn't have to bring a date, you know."

"Eeew..." Is all she manages to whine.

"She's not my date. She's my _escort_." Dr. B. says happily. "She promised she would act as my _escort_," he winks at Jin. "if I never tried to touch her again."

"He's been grabbing my butt all the way here!" she shrieks. Dr. B. tries to look innocent.

"So, uh... come in then."

As soon as they get inside the door, Xiaoyu breaks free.

"Ha! I held my part of the deal, now I'm untouchable!"

Dr. B. grumbles something and nods. She dances out into the kitchen. Dr. B. looks at Jin.

"I'll just harass Nina a little."

Jin compares himself to Dr. B. in his head, pretending he's Nina. The choice is pretty obvious. He grins.

"Yeeaahh... you do that."

"Whee!"

Jin is about to leave, when he hears footsteps on the other side of the door. He opens it and meets Yoshimitsu's angry eyes.

"You lying son of a bitch!" he snarls. Jin smiles.

"What? I never lie, do I?"

"'Come to my place and watch wrestling'? Nice try, you've got no antenna on the top of your house. I bet you don't even have a TV! And there is no Playstation either, is there!"

Jin looks down.

"No."

Yoshimitsu's face is white (bwahahahah) with anger. He pushes his way past Jin and storms into the kitchen, where he is greeted with a happy "BEER!". Jin doesn't close the door, he sees King coming. He waves. King towers up in front of him.

"King is here!" he proudly announces and gives Jin a killer look. "And he left work for it, so this better be a killer party."

"Oh, it is. Come in, have a beer, murder Law or punch the DJ."

"You have a DJ?"

"No, he's not really mine."

"But there is a DJ?"

"Apparently, since the music is still playing."

"Cool! A DJ! And beer?"

"Always."

King makes his way into the kitchen. Jin closes the door.


	5. Bite, spit and stomp!

Rant: Thanks for the replies! I was beginning to be all grumpy and stuff about it. Also, I don't know any words in portugese, so they speak spanish in this Brazil. Eko is Heihachi's dead wife.I invented her andI can destroy her! Bwohahahahahahahaahaha! Also, I have NO IDEA who created Gun Jack and it's hardly important. For some reason I can't add small things to divide the different parts, that's why I added the lame-ass lawyer stuff between the good stuff .Anyway, enjoy this first part of the friday night...

**FRIDAY NIGHT**

Jin opens the door. He is swaying slightly, but still not in drunk stupor. He stares at a metallic chest. He looks up and sees Gun Jack looking down on him.

"Hey G.J.!"

Gun Jack doesn't reply, he just gives Jin a letter. Jin takes it and tries his best to read it.

"Dear Mr. Kazama,

I considered your offer earlier and I think it's worth a try. I have installed a small camera in this unit's head, hoping I could see the unit's reaction to whatever it is you are going to do at this 'party' of yours. Unfortunately, we won't be able to the unit it self's reactions, but we will see yours, and that will almost certainly prove to be entertaining enough. I am well aware there will be alcoholic beverages, and I have made some adjustments to this unit. He will be able to drink, but he will need some hints as to how and why. Also, he won't get drunk, and you should be happy about that. Of course, I know you will try to get him drunk anyway. I have also installed a little chip with basic knowledge of sarcasm and humour. Only basic, I'm afraid, the last attempts to give them greater knowledge was a painful disaster. Also, one final warning before you begin the tests... please, do not under any circumstances try to inflict any violence on the 'sensitive area'. It might (and probably will) lead to horrifying results.

Regards,

Dr. Abel. (Dr. Abel)"

Jin looks up at Gun Jack again. Gun Jack blinks.

"So... Jack. Can I call you Jack?"

"Affirmative."

"Ah... well, why won't you go into the living room and have a chat with Ogre? He has something _really_ important he has to talk to you about."

G. Jack blinks.

"Affirmative!"

He goes past Jin and into the living room, where he is greeted by a chorus of cheering voices.

"It's Gun Jack!"

"Our savior!"

Jin folds the letter and puts it in his pocket. He goes back into the living room and watches everyone talk. Most people are drinking. Yoshimitsu and Bryan stands by the wall, Bryan is very, very wasted.

"C'mon Yoooshhi. 'ave a BEER!" Bryan tries to persuade him. Yoshimitsu hesitates.

"I shouldn't drink."

"Why not?"

Yoshimitsu bows his head in shame.

"I'm a mean drunk."

"'o ishn't?"

"Well... everyone but you and me?"

Bryan doesn't say anything for a while.

"D'you call me a mean dwunk!"

"Yeah."

"Really!"

"Yeah."

"I'll give you foj mean dwunk!"

Bryan raises his fist and tries to aim at Yoshimitsu. Yoshimitsu gives him a weird look. Bryan finally falls forward, his fist still clenched and aiming. Yoshimitsu steps out of the way and looks at him squirming in pain on the floor. He grins slightly and pokes him with his foot.

"Shtop it!" Bryan whines. Law comes up to Jin.

"Yoshimitsu is really boring. He doesn't want to get drunk!"

"What should I do about it?"

Law thinks for a while.

"Do you have a medicine cabinet?"

(various things implying a change of location)

G. Jack blinks.

"I don't understand."

Ogre shakes his head slowly.

"What is it you don't understand, you big piece of moronic metal!"

"What is it I am meant to perform?"

"Bite his wiener off! How hard can it be! Bite! Bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, spit and stomp, stomp, stomp! Bwahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaaaaaaa!" Ogre bellows, incredibly frustrated now. He run out into the kitchen and soon comes back with a sausage.

"Here, look, I'll demonstrate for you!"

He noisily chews and tears a large piece off it and then spits it out again.

"See that! Did you! DID YOU! WELL!"

G. Jack stares blankly.

"Invalid command." He finally admits. Ogre stands there, quiet for a while, before he finally bursts out in tears.

"I-must-torture-someone!" he sobs.

"Oh! Oh! Torture me, Ogre! I like your pain!" Anna yells at the other end of the room. Ogre cries out in terror and flees the room, Anna soon chasing after him. Lei shakes his head and pats Dr. B.'s shoulder.

"Doctor? I think we need your help for re-programming G. Jack."

"Oh, really? What's he supposed to do?" Dr. B. wheezes.

"Bite Paul's penis off."

Dr. B.'s eyes glitters in a very touched way.

"I've always wanted to make a robot do that!"

"Can you?"

"Of course! Come here, little Jackie..."

G. Jack blinks.

(various things implying a change of location)

Heihachi is lying down in great, agonizing pain. But Heihachi (as brave as he is) sings a merry little song when he tries to forget the pain.

"I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my..." he makes a sudden move and Heichachi cries out in pain. He had now learned that he should NOT move with a dislocated right arm with a case of beer on it.

"GHAAAARGH! It hurtssss." He looks around. "Oooh, Eko I never really understood feelings and sensations until now. Shit, it hurts like the time you left me, my beloved one. You always said 'Don't you have feelings?' and I would reply 'Shut up and bend over, bitch.' but I was young and wanted to experience things. But now I understand feelings and emotions, my arm hurts like it's been run over by a really big and mean case of beer and I feel really pissed about it. Now I really understand!" He looks around, and stares at the case of beer.

"I'm so weak."

He thinks a little. He's already tried drinking the beer, but he couldn't get them out of the case. He frowns.

"That music is annoying. Haven't they ever heard of Beatles?"

(various things implying a change of location)

Jin and Law opens the Jolt Cola and gently pours it into a glass filled with roughly a third medical alcohol. They pour a lot in it and stirs. Law smells it and frowns.

"He's not going to drink this!"

"Yes, he will! He's a nerd, nerds drink Jolt, it's a fact of life."

"Yeah, but... is caffeine and alcohol a good mix?"

"If it isn't, then nothing is."

"Alright... here goes nothing."

They take the glass and goes out into the living room. Yoshimitsu is still leaning towards the wall, looking at people. Drunken people.

"Yoshimitsu? Would you like a coke?" Jin offers him the glass. Yoshimitsu gives it a suspicious look.

"What's in it?"

"Coke! It's Jolt!" Law smiles.

"Jolt, eh? Well, I need something to stay awake here." He mutters and takes a swig. He then coughs and stares at it.

"What's really in this, guys? It tastes weird."

Law and Jin smile nervously.

"Uh... nothing, nothing, really. It's just old! A little old, just a few days, I'm sure it's just the acids in it burning on your tongue. Nothing to worry about. Really."

He gives them another suspicious glance, but decides to drink anyway. Law and Jin returns to the kitchen and makes a little victory dance.

"We'll get him drunk in no time!" Law says in a weird sing-song voice.

"Yay! And Law...?"

"Yes?"

"Step away from me, you little fruit."

(various things implying a change of location)

Xiaoyu opens the door and stares at Paul. Paul has his mouth jammed full of pizza and chews it with some effort. He grins at her.

"Eumph Kshaao!"

Xiaoyu stares openly. Her left eyelid twitches a little.

"...Paul...? What are you doing here?"

He swallows most of the pizza.

"How's the party, sweetie?"

Xiaoyu finally decides to ignore him. She turns around and goes back into the living room with the shocked expression still on her face.

"Paul is here now." She whispers.

"What?" Hwoarang asks beside her.

"Paul is here!" she says louder.

"Paul!" he gasps.

The activity in the room seems to stop. Everyone stares at the doorway in terror. Some frightened whispersare heard. Then Ogre suddenly starts to giggle insanely.

"Yes... yes! This is your chance, Jack! Surprise him!"

Hwoarang skids towards Nina.

"I get him first." He whispered.

"You already had him a lot of times."

"So?"

Paul seems to appear out of thin air.

"Hi everyone!"

He gets no response, except for a strange whimper coming from Eddy. He points at him with a shaking index finger, slowly backing away.

"Diablo... diablo..."

"BITE IT!" Ogre suddenly blurts out.

Paul looks at him, surprised and confused and slowly takes a bite of his pizza. Ogre realizes he must cover his mistake up.

"Uh... that's right! You eat that like the little girl you are!"

Paul suddenly smiles at him.

"Hinting something, Ogre?"

"No!" he screams and flees. Hwoarang frowns.

"Why does that turn me on?"

Law sees Paul and leaps towards him.

"Paul!"

People in the room hopes that Law will keep him busy. Yoshimitsu clears his throat.

"I'm starting to feel a little weird and woozy... I love Jolt!"

The DJ increases the volume on the CD-player and takes a swig from his bottle of beer.


	6. Metallica vs Iron Maiden

Jin, Anna and Nina stands in a corner, arguing.

"I still say you can't do it, Jin. It's completely impossible." Anna scoffs.

"Can too. It's really easy." Jin replies.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I can show you if you don't believe me."

"Alright, then. I'll sacrifice myself just to prove you wrong. Now show me you can do it."  
Jin grins.

"Fine. Feel the awesome power of my... LIGHTNING SCREW!"

Jin suddenly disappears. Anna doesn't feel a thing.

"Well, that was really quick, but I don't think you ever really touched me. Hey Nina, did you feel anything? Uh, Nina...?"

Nina stares out into nothingness, shocked. Her hair is messed up and her clothes are disarranged. One of her eyelids twitches a little.

"My ass hurts..." she whimpers. Jin smiles in the other end of the room.

"I'm the man."

- -

Eddy watches Paul and Law leave the room and sigh in relief. He sits down heavily on the couch, looks around theatrically and pulls out a small plastic bag from his pocket. The DJ nods slowly with a grin and makes the thumbs-up gesture. Julia sits down next to him and wipes some imaginary sweat off her forehead. She then glances at Eddy.

"Is that what I think it is, Eddy?"

"Sure is. You want some of Eddy's personal? I call it… the MAYFLOWER!"

Julia shrugs.

"Sure. Anything to make my life a little brighter."

Eddy hands her a small cigarette and a lighter. At the same time she lights it, Lei catches sight of them and approaches slowly. Eddy notices him.

"Oh sh…! It's the cop! Julia! Hide it!" Eddy hisses and quickly puts the bag under a pillow. Julia looks around panicky and then, when she can't get up with anything better, puts the cigarette out and presses it up her nose. She coughs and quickly makes an innocent face. Lei grins at them.

"Sooo… anything fun going on?"

"Uh… no… good music." Eddy replies a little too quickly. Lei nods.

"Right. I'm not a big fan of this band myself."

"What do you mean? It's Metallica!" Julia says quietly.

Lei's face brightens.

"Metallica!" he repeats, howls and tears his shirt off. He runs away, chanting "Metallica" at the top of his lungs. Everyone stares at him while he disappears, even the DJ stops playing, just staring.

"Well, that was weird…" someone said. The music started again and everything returned to normal. Eddy gives Julia a questioning look.

"This isn't Metallica. It's the DJ's nephew's band. And…" Eddy pauses, leans closer and takes a good look at her. "You didn't just suck that cigarette up your nose, did you?"

Julia nods slowly. Very slowly.

"Oh… how does it feel?"

Julia clears her throat.

"I'm sure that I'll have a lot of fun once the headache clears."

"You just tell me when that happens, alright? This is cool!"

Julia stared right in front of herself. There is a dramatic cry from the other side of the room where Yoshimitsu attacks the still half-naked Lei.

"There we go." Julia mumbles and grins. She then gets up from the couch, points right in front of herself and screams. She tries to escape the room, still screaming.

"AAAAAHHH! OH, MY GOD, GET THEM OFF ME, GET THEM OFF ME, OH MY GOD, AAAARRRGH!"

Finally she gets out and vanishes in the depths of the house. Eddy stares after her. No one else cares, they're getting used to it. He then glances at the pillow and streaks his chin.

"Hmmmm…"

- -

Hwoarang takes a walk through Jin's amazing house. He walks down a hallway and passes a big, impressive painting of a great-great-grandfather or some of that sort. Hwoarang glances at it and then keeps walking. He stops and looks over his shoulder at it. He walks back at forth, never taking his eyes away from the scary painting. He then stops.

"Is this haunted...?" he wonders loudly. The man on the painting quickly shakes his head. Hwoarang stares blankly at it for a while before he frowns.

"Why does that turn me on?"

- -

Ogre and Dr. B drag G.J. into the kitchen. They give each other a thoughtful look at then studies G.J., who holds a beer in his hand. He stares blankly in front of himself. Dr. B. clears his throat.

"So, eh… how do you suggest we reprogram this robot?"

"Hmm… I don't know. You're the scientist here!"

"Yelling at him obviously doesn't work…"

Ogre gives G.J. a weird glance.

"Maybe we should try that again, just to be sure, you know."

"No way, I have a sore throat. Hmmm…"

Dr. B. does around him and takes a look at his back. He climbs up on his shoulders and removes a small piece of metal from his head. He takes a questioning look at all the weird buttons there.

"I think I might have found something good here. Let's see… Which one should I press first?"

Ogre grins like a brainy schoolgirl.

"Unwritten rule of technology! Red buttons are your friends!"

"Uh… yeah, whatever." Dr. B. mutters and rolls his eyes. He cracks his fingers, closes his eyes and presses a random button. G.J. jerks slightly and his right arm shoots up like a bottle rocket. Ogre raises an eyebrow.

"Nice. Bit too high though. The leg would be more… eh, 'lethal', if you know what I mean…"

Dr. B. presses another button. G.J.'s eyes widen and he suddenly opens his mouth.

"GOD SAVE THE JACK OF SPADES!" he cries loudly.

"Oh! Oh! A random sentence generator!" Dr. B. says, overjoyed. He presses it over and over.

"INSERT A WOODEN NICKEL! PLEASE LEAVE THE GREEN FERRET ALONE WITH THE ELF! YOUNG PEOPLE USES CURSING IN THEIR EVERYDAY LANGUAGE!"

Ogre stares.

"What the hell is that good for?"

Dr. B. shrugs.

"Comic relief."

"That's just scary…"

He presses yet another button. A lot of things happen, and Dr. B, in panic, starts pressing a lot of buttons randomly. Ogre stares while the robot and the old man jerks and twists around the room. He then advances to give him a hand. Dr. B. sees him coming and presses a familiar button. When Ogre gets into range, G.J's arm suddenly shoots up, giving him a killer punch on his chin. Ogre collapses on the floor and Dr. B. laughs manically.

"Take that, Mr. Don't-hate-me-because-I'm-beautiful!"

Lei come in, still without a shirt on. He walks up to the fridge, opens it and takes out a jar of pickles. He starts eating some while giving the bleeding Ogre a bored look.

"Nice hit."

"Thanks. Nice black eye you got there."

"Very god damned funny, old man. It's not my fault that Yoshimitsu is a drunken Iron Maiden fan. So have you managed to train Jack yet?"

"We're working on it, thank you very much!"

"Hang on a sec… Get off him, Boskonovitch."

Lei leave while Dr. B. puts the small sheet of metal back on G.J's head. He then comes back with a picture.

"Gun Jack? Do you hear me?"

"Positive."

"Good…" Lei said slowly and sweetly, and then showed the picture to him. Dr. B. looks away quickly.

"That's a part of Brad Pitt I never wanted to see!"

Lei suddenly looks a little flustered.

"It was taken during an, uuh… stake-out!"

"Oh."

"Yeah. Stake-out." Lei clear his throat, then turns back to G.J. He points at the unwanted sight of Brad Pitt. "Do you see this area of the human male's body?"

"Positive."

"Do you know who Paul Phoenix is?"

"Positive."

"Good." Lei look around and take up a red crayon lying on the kitchen counter.

"I want you to find Paul Phoenix and cause extreme damage to this particular area."

He draws a circle around the area on the picture, and writes a text over the ring that says "The area of which extreme damage shall be inflicted".

"Understood?"

G.J. nods.

"Positive."

"Excellent. Gun Jack! Confirm your orders!"

G.J. nods shortly, looks around and somehow manages to look menacing just doing that. He catches sight of Ogre. He walks over to the bleeding, green man. He leans down, grabs him by the throat and lifts him high up in the air. Ogre looks around wildly.

"Wazzhappenin'…?" he mumbles as G.J. retracts his other arm. Lei and Dr. B. get a dawning suspicion.

"Oh my god, is he…?"

Ogre's scream is heard all over the mansion. He collapses to the floor in a living heap of extreme pain. G.J. looks at him, bored in a proper robotic way. He then turns back to Lei.

"Orders carried out."

"No, no, no. I mean yes. Those were your orders… now go carry out your orders on Paul!"

G.J. stares blankly at him for a while, before he finally turns around and leaves. Lei and Dr. B. looks at each other in a puzzled way.

"That was unusually easy, wasn't it?"

"Yeah… and fun too!"

Ogre whimpers on the floor.

"They both hurt me so much…"

Lei and Dr. B. grins in such an identically evil way that anyone could mistake them to be family.

"Let's kick him!"

"Yeah!"


	7. Battery?

Alright, it's been a while, but here's another chapter. Feel for it.

- -

Paul rolls his eyes at Nina.

"Would you stop asking? I'm not interested!"

Nina blinks seductivly at him.

"Oh, come on… you've taken every other woman here! Why stop now?"

"Yeah, but they're like, 'No Paul! Don't do it!'. And then, once I get started, they say 'Yes Paul! Go on!'. You see, that's what interesting. I don't like chicks who try to lure me into raping them. You want to sue me, don't you?"

Nina frowns slightly and then smiles. She backs away from Paul.

"Eew! You're so disgusting! Get away from me!" she says with the acting skills of a bike. Paul looks away and pretends he's not talking to her at all. Anna suddenly appears out of nowhere.

"Nina, you're such a whore…" she sighs.

- -

Jin leans against the wall, looking slightly bored. People are talking to, laughing at and insulting each other wherever he looks. He gives Paul an angry glance, simply because Nina is all over him. Anna stands beside her, swaying slightly with a bored look on her face too. He sighs and gives them a shred of privacy when Yoshimitsu enters the conversation. He is startled by King, standing right next to him.

"Pretty nice party. Mostly because of the almost endless supply of beer."

"Yeah. It was pretty cheap too."

"Oh? Why?"

"I know some people, who know some people who know some Danish who knows a Danish brewer that dropped some kind of dirty dog in it."

King looks down on the beer with a disgusted look on his face. Of course, no one knew that. His mask looked angrily at the beer. He then shrugs and drinks some more.

"Nice taste though."

"Yep. It was a relatively small dog."

"So… everyone is here now?"

"Yeah… I think so…"

- -

_Meanwhile, on some weird tropical island…_

A group of large lizards chants in their odd lizard tongue:  
"GON! GON! GON! GON!"

Gon moves his small arms very slowly, trying to open a nice envelope.

"Careful…careful… and… NO!"

Everyone stares in horror at the envelope on the floor. One small lizard starts crying.

"Gon! You idiot! It took hours to get it off the floor!" another one yells angrily.

"Fine, fine… I'll do it myself." Gon mutters, gets down on the floor and desperately tries to catch it with his tongue, making weird sounds while doing so.

- -

"So, uh…" King continues. "Maybe we should do some kind of activity? Like limbo or something?"

Jin glares darkly at him.

"How about some Paul vs. King wrestling? In cooking oil!"

King gasps.

"NO!"

"Good, then shut up."

"You're evil!"

Jin seems to realize something and looks around.

"Speaking of evil… where's Heihachi?"

- -

"YAARGH!"

Heihachi once again stops trying to get away from the keg of beer and just lie still. He sighs deeply and starts drumming his other fingers at the floor. He starts humming slightly. Within minutes…

"I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT!" he 'scream-sings' loudly.

- -

"Eh. Who cares?" Jin then says half to himself and drinks some more beer. King nods and follows his example. They stand there for a while, simply looking around. King suddenly sighs.

"Aw, man. I can't believe Nina is trying to get it on with Paul…"

"Yeah. It's pretty disgusting."

King nods, drinks the rest of his beer and exhales loudly.

"I'm going over there for a three-some!"

King proudly leaves and walks towards them. Jin stares out into nothing, shocked beyond words. Xiaoyu appears out of nowhere.

"Jin!" she squeaks happily. "Can you make me a margarita?"

"You're too young to drink."

"Shut up or I'll… I'll… oh…"

She runs to a window, tears it open and throws up violently. Mokujin, who is still in the couch, gives her a wondering look. She doesn't see it. He stands up again and wipes her mouth. Jin frowns.

"If you're already drunk, why do you ask me to make it worse?"

"I'm not drunk."

"Uh… are you nauseous then?"

Xiaoyu blushes.

"I think I'm pregnant." She looks up. "Law! I'm looking at you!"

Law, who was sleeping on a chair, wakes up. He wipes the drool off his cheek and looks around.

"What? Where am I? What did I do?"

"Oh, what DIDN'T you do, damn pervert!"

Jin tries to picture what she implies in his head, but some kind of blockade in his brain prevents him from doing so. He witnesses Anna running crying from the room. Yoshimitsu laughs. Long and hard.

- -

Meanwhile, Ogre crawls from the kitchen. He sobs quietly, one hand still cupping his 'sensitive area'. He looks around and quickly starts making his way up the stairs.

"Must… hide… the shame!" he wheezes to himself and manages to open one of the mechanical doors. It leads into a closet. He hides himself under a huge coat and sighs in relief.

"No one will ever know…"

"Know what?" an all too familiar voice asks him. Ogre gasps.

"Anna! By the Gods, no!"

He leaps towards the door…

- -

Bryan wanders around, still stuck in his personal cloud of beer surrounding his head. He giggles every now and then, seeing magical things for his eyes only. He notes a door that strange sounds come from. Bryan stands there for a while, perfectly still, before a huge smile cracks his face in two.

"It's SANTA!" he cries and makes an attempt to open the door and rush down the stairs. And, to his surprise, it worked. The lock snaps away and the door swung in leaving Bryan without the resistance he expected. He screams loudly as he rolls down the stairs and hits the main power level. It made a fruitless attempt at first to simply join his spine in their downward spiral into oblivion, when it doesn't work it simply changes position. From 'ON' to 'OFF'. Bryan grits his teeth and growls.

"My God it hurts…"

A pair of evil eyes spots him in the dark.

"Hello… Bryan Fury…" Heihachi semi-hisses at him.

- -

…and Ogre slams his face into the solid face of the door. He rubs his nose.

"What the…?" he grumbles. He touches the door and clears his throat.

"Uh… door open? Open up?" he says, afterwards trying a lot of words in ancient Aztec language. He then curses it in the same language.

"Hey… the music is gone. And the light won't work in here. There must be a problem with the power or something…" Anna says, trying to explain the obvious.

- -

The DJ leans towards Mokujin.

"Hey, woody. Got a battery?"

Mokujin does nothing for a moment, he then presents a battery, origin unknown. The DJ takes it.

"Thanks dude. You rock."

- -

The music returns with unaltered strength. Anna shrugs.

"Ok, so no power problem…"

Ogre scratches the back of his neck. He feels uncomfortable. And extremely much so. He tries to teleport himself out of the closet with willpower alone. He feels Anna's hand on his shoulder.

"This might be fate, you know…"

He spins around quickly and puts his hands on her shoulders.

"Anna! Don't touch me, I…"

He pauses, staring out into the darkness. He moves his fingers slowly.

"Anna, these aren't your shoulders, right? It's so soft…"

Anna doesn't say anything for a while.

"You don't get out much, do you?"

"Well… I have been stuck in a temple for ever."

No one says anything for a while.

"I feel like I'm doing something wrong here."

"Oh, no you're not…"

"No really, I… By the Gods! What are you doing!"

"It's a secret of the women."

"Please don't stop…"


	8. Kitties, beer and Rammstein

G.J. stands in the living room, his eyes fixed upon the target. The picture of Brad Pitt was still fresh in his mind. He narrows his eyes and growls very robotically. The area of which extreme pain would be inflicted upon was in deep trouble. He clenches his fist and his eyes turn red. He raises his hand.

"DESTROY!" he cries out and brings his fist of extremely painful destruction down. The juices of the victim splattered all over the place and the table broke in four pieces. Every sound in the room stopped. Jin came in through the door and stared.  
"NO! Not my expensive and extremely rare red marble table!"

G.J. turned to Lei with a strangely humanlike grin on his face.

"Mission completed!"

Lei looked at G.J's fist and then at the table. The squished remains of the banana and the two oranges looked very… squishy. Some parts of them dripped off G.J's hand. Lei rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Jack. Good for you. Now go do something else, okay?"

He then leaves the room as the activity begins again. Hwoarang slowly approaches G.J., who was still grinning in that strangely human way.

"Hey, Jack." He purrs. G.J. glances at him.

"I just have to ask you something..." he says quietly, almost looking a bit embarassed. "There seems to be a lot of un-human relationships right now, you know? And scientists probably don't get a lot of the good stuff. So... have you ever, you know... been screwed?"

G.J. looks blankly at him before he nods.

"This unit has been screwed a total of 560 times."

Hwoarang stares at him.

"Wow, that's quite a lot. You must be well-equipped or something!"

G.J. points at his hand.

"Unit has been screwed here, and here, and here, and here..."

Hwoarang rolls his eyes.

"Oh, you mean screwed-screwed. You almost had me there."

- -

Jin stands with Law in the kitchen, moaning about the rare table. Law shrugs.

"I'm sure you can get it fixed somewhere…"

Jin sighs.

"You think?"

"Yeah! Don't worry about it. Seriously."

Jin shakes his head.

"I just don't understand why Lei would want that damn machine to break my table! What did I ever do to him?"

"Well, there's all the painful stuff in the tournament and… stuff."

"Oh."

They start talking about happy memories from the tournament and realize they're not as happy as they think. No one of them notices Hwoarang entering the kitchen. Jin clears his throat.

"Hey, Law… about Xiaoyu. You didn't really…?"

Law looks a bit uncomfortable.

"Well, um…"

Jin gasps.

"My God! Law, she's just 16!"

Law scratches the back of his neck.

"I guess I was drunk and… hey! Wait a minute! I'm gay! It couldn't have been me!"

"But… who was it then?"

Law narrows his eyes and glances at Jin.  
"It was YOU, wasn't it!"

Jin rolls his eyes.

"Oh, come on! I've been here for months! I won't go to China just for her. She's not even that good looking."

They both nod.  
"We'll have to solve this mystery!"

Hwoarang picks the picture of Brad Pitt up. He stares at it for a while. Law and Jin see him. He sees them. He doesn't put the picture down. They stare at each other for a while, quietly. Hwoarang frowns.

"Why does this turn me on?"

Jin looks really disgusted. Law just keeps staring.

"Hwoarang, you've got issues."

Hwoarang looks down on the ground.

"Yeah…"

Eddy wanders into the kitchen.

"Yo Jin! You got some of those chicken wings?"

"No. I don't believe in eating chicken."

Eddy is about to leave, when the drugs kick in. He turns around, slowly.

"You don't?"

"No."

"You can't force your beliefs on me, dude! Give me some damn chicken!"

"No!"

"Fascist!"

Jin's eyes narrows to slits.

"May the devil take you, Eddy!" he hisses at him. Hwoarang looks up.

"Who? Me?"

"No, idiot! Eddy!"

Hwoarang glares at Eddy.

"Yeah, Eddy! Take us all!"

Everyone stares openly at Hwoarang. Eddy finally crosses his arms over his chest.

"Eddy don't take... I give." He says in a very strange way.

"So you will give us?" Law asks with some hopes.

"To who?" Jin asks, trying desperately to get the sexual stuff out of the conversation.

"How can you give us?"

Eddy starts massaging his temples.

"I have NO idea what you're saying."

"Seriously Eddy, please give us. At least me!" Law says happily. Eddy gives him a bored look.

"I'm tired..." he mutters and wanders away. Jin glares at Law.

"No gay stuff in my kitchen!"

"Sorry."

- -

Lei stands outside, holding one of his cigarettes. He looks around, slightly bored. He sees the party hat on the stone lion. He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. He hears something grunting in the bushes. The pervert in him wakes to life and he sneaks closer. He carefully moves a branch to the side and sees…

…Panda. He sighs. He was never much for the farm animal action either. Kuma sits next to her, looking flustered in the strange bear-way. He offers her a bouquet of strange flowers. Lei, also being a hopeless romance freak, secretly wish Panda to take the bouquet, run off with Kuma and live happily ever after. To the males' dismay, she doesn't even notice the flowers. Kuma pokes her carefully. She turns her head towards him, sits like that for a few seconds and then accepts the bouquet. Lei smiles warmly and was about to leave when Kuma does the old yawning trick. He puts his arm over her shoulders. She immediately breaks free, yells at him in a strange panda-way and slaps him. She then storms away. Lei give Kuma a sympathetic look.

"You had something going there."

Kuma growls at him and punches him. Lei collapse on the ground, cupping his sensitive area, trying desperately to breathe. Kuma then storms off. Lei watch him leave.

"You… bastard!" he hisses. Someone suddenly breaks out in roaring laughter behind him. He looks over his shoulder and sees Julia. Her hair is a complete mess, her eyes are red and she appears to have a plastic hippo on her head.

"A bear!" she screams and keeps laughing, probably still high as a house. Lei roll his eyes and try to get up. He gives up and looks up at the starry sky.

"Damn you, world…"

Julia goes into the house, still laughing. King suddenly crashes though a window, killing some rose shrubs when he lands. He gets up, brushes glass off himself and shakes his fist at the window.

"YOU KEEP HIM, NINA!" he roars at the window. Lei give him a puzzled look. King notices him and seems to be a little embarrassed.

"Paul was more interested in me. And, uh… I didn't want to, you know…"

"Well, I didn't want to know, thank you."

"Right. What are you doing out here?"

"Kuma punched me."

No one says anything. King finally coughs silently.

"Uh… why?"

"Because Panda slapped him."

"It sounds like you had a lot of fun out here."

"Shut up, Kitty!"

"Hehehe, must've been really…" King seems to finally understand what Lei called him. "Kitty!"

"Yeah!" Lei snarl at him. "I called you Kitty. What are you going to do about it, Kitty!"

King crosses his arms and smirks inside his mask.

"Punish you most severely…" he says in a dangerously soft voice.

- -

"And… and then my wife left meeeee…" Bryan howls in the basement, sobbing violently between the words. He swings the beer around dangerously with his other hand. Heihachi nods slowly.

"Yes, women can be a bother at times. Have another beer."

"And that's when I joined Rammstein, or how the hell you pro… pro… say it… But they told me to leave becaushe I washn't GERMAN! But I'm German, right 'yashi?"

"Of course you a-"

"I CAN SHWEAR IN GERMAN TOO! Scheishe… scheesee. Cheeshe. See!"

"Yeah." Heihachi states, bored with everything he can think of. "Have another beer now, Bryan."

"I mean… it'sh not like they're profshinals of whatever…" he suddenly giggles. Heihachi shakes his head slowly, now losing the little shreds of respect he still had for Bryan.

"Right."

Bryan sobs one last protesting time and they're both quiet.

"And then I got a dog…"

"Don't you know anyone else who can get me out of here?" Heihachi finally asks.

- -

Julia staggers into the hallway, giggling silently to herself.

"A… bear…" she mumbles. At the very same time, Yoshimitsu comes out of the living room. He spots her and grins. He always grins when he sees Julia. Or anyone else.

"Hey! You fake Indian white Chinese…" he says loudly. She is startled and looks around frantically.

"Yeah! You! Has anyone ever told you how HORRIBLE your clothes are? Seriously. And your name is just stupid. Did your mother even think about the fact that you would shame it for the rest of your life? I feel sorry for everyone named Julia, except you. If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never ever EVER leave my house again! Why-"

He could've kept yelling at her until she was crying, like he did with Anna, if he only didn't trip on the carpet. He falls violently to the floor, and to Julia's great horror, his head comes loose and slides away from him. She glances at his decapitated body, expecting a large pool of blood and a twitching body. She gasps.

"By Mother Nature! You're cute! A cute Japanese!"

Yoshimitsu gets up and glares at her.

"How DARE you… I…" he begins, but then touches his face. He looks around on the floor.

"Damn that thing…"

"It was just a mask! All this time I thought you really were so hideous!"

"Don't look at me! Stop it!"

Julia grins widely, staggering towards him like a zombie.

"Cute japaneeeseeee!" she moans. He tries to back away, but forgot the fact that he was completely hammered. He falls backwards and drags her along in the fall. They stay like that for a moment or two.

"Yeah, you like that, don't you bitch?" Julia mumbles. Yoshimitsu clears his throat.

"I still don't like it when you look at me. Or your clothes."

Julia feels his hands on her skirt. She giggles quietly.

"Let go!"

"Never! They belong to me now!"

- -

"Seriously! Do you know someone who can get us out!" Heihachi growls. Bryan grins.

"Shuuure I do…"

He goes to the stairs, takes a deep breath and shouts:

"EEEEEEEEDDYYYYY!"

- -

Eddy sleeps heavily on the couch, drooling slightly. His right hand twitches a bit. He suddenly sits up.

"BRYAN!" he gasps. "Hang on, buddy! I'm coming for you!"

He runs around the house, aimless at first, but finally spots the basement door. He smiles victoriously.  
"Don't worry Bryan! I'll save you!" he takes a few steps back. "THE CAPOEIRA WAY!" he then screams and run as fast as he can towards the door.


	9. Animal Planet and Catwoman!

**

* * *

**

Alright! This is the very final chapter! Hope this thing brought giggles to you and your loved ones. Thanks for the reviews! And all you who didn't and won't review, you still don't suck as much as you should.

**EARLY SATURDAY AFTERNOON**

Yoshimitsu opens his eyes slowly. Very slowly. Small leprechauns are banging their small leprechaun hammers against his head. To make a long story short, he has a bad headache. He sits up, looking around. He suddenly notices that he is naked.

"Good morning lover…" someone beside him says. He shrieks and leaps out of bed, grabbing the bed sheets to cover himself with. He gives Julia a wild stare.

"Who the hell are you!"

Julia smiles at him.

"So… you don't remember?"

Yoshimitsu frowns.

"I have a weird feeling that I should…"

Julia gets a slightly disappointed look on her face.

"Yeah, I think so too… we did some wild stuff."

"Really?"

A pair of hands appears at the edge of the bed. Xiaoyu crawls out from beneath the bed. She has some minor bruises on her face. She stares at Yoshimitsu.

"'Be my lollipop?' Yoshimitsu, you're disgusting!"

He stares back at her.

"I didn't…?"

She gets a disgusted look on her face.

"God damn it no!" she says loudly and leaves the room. Yoshimitsu glances at Julia.

"So we…?"

"Yes."

"Just the two of us?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Did anyone else see us?"

They don't say anything for a while. After a few seconds, they look at a corner. G.J. sits there, a red light flashing at the side of his head.

"Damn it! Initialize camouflage!" a voice says. G.J. looks around quickly, takes the hat off a lamp and puts it on his head.

"Seriously!" The voice says again.

G.J. stands up and appears to make an attempt to become as lamp-like as possible. Yoshimitsu and Julia looks at each other, and then shrugs.

"So, uh… did you like it?" Yoshimitsu asks carefully. Julia nods.

"Did I like it?"

"Oh yes you did."

"Ah…"

He gets a smug look on his face.

"Want to do it again?"

She looks shocked and then throws a pillow at him.

"You pig!" she snarls at him and leaves. Yoshimitsu stands there for a while, still a little stunned. He smiles widely.

"I can't believe it! I nailed Julia! Wait until I tell my pals on the net about this…" he pauses. "But first…"

He then doubles over and throws up on the floor.

"Ugh, I hate hangovers." He grumbles when he's done. He looks around for his clothes, to no avail. He can't even find his mask. He glances at the door.

"Uh… Julia?" he calls and follows her, still only dressed in bed sheets.

Jin coughs and tries to get up from the floor. His back hurts, for some strange reason. He looks around. Law sleeps on the kitchen counter, his head resting on a very sickening plate full of cheese. Hwoarang sleeps leaning against the side of the table. Jin scratches his head, not noticing the remains of potato chips cascading off him. He walks slowly and carefully out into the living room. Mokujin is still in the couch and the DJ is nowhere to be found. Jin gives Mokujin a strange look.

"You've been there all night?" he mumbles. Mokujin nods. Jin looks around with his eyes narrowed down to slits. He feels horrible.

"You don't have any Aspirin, do you?"

Mokujin sits quietly for a while before he stretches out his hand. Jin takes the two small pills.

"Thanks buddy."

He walks out into the hall. He looks down and takes Yoshimitsu's head up. He stares blankly at it for a while, before he puts his hand over his mouth.

"Oh. Dear. God. Someone killed Yoshimitsu."

Seconds after he said it, Julia storms down the stair, wearing only some of Jin's bed sheets. Jin stares with his eyes as wide as they could get. In his current state, it's less than normal size.

"My mother gave me that. Don't run away with it." He mumbles in protest. Julia glares at him.

"Well, your mother will probably be happy that bed - AND the sheets – finally saw some action!" she hisses before she tears the door open and walks away. Yoshimitsu comes down the stairs.

"Julia?" he calls. "I really need my clothes now!"

"Who the hell are you?" Jin asks him. Yoshimitsu gives him a dark look and sees the mask in his hands. He snatches it and puts it on, Jin couldn't really see how. He raises his eyebrows.

"Yoshimitsu? That was your face?"

He rolls his eyes.

"No, it was Harrison Ford's face, you idiot."

"But wait, you're Yoshimitsu… that's my mother's sheets… Julia wore them too… oh God."

Jin closes his eyes, rubs his temples and sighs.

"In my bed? How will I ever be able to sleep there again?"

"You don't have to. Julia! At least show me where my sword is!"

Yoshimitsu goes out of the front door, following Julia down the road. Jin closes the door and tries to forget them ever mentioning what had just taken place in his bed. He looks up and sees Xiaoyu coming down the stairs. She looks a bit pale.

"Don't go into the bathroom, Jin. You really don't want to see it."

Jin shakes his head.

"There are horrible things all over the place… who talked me into this!"

"It was your idea."

"Shut up."

Xiaoyu comes down and gives him a little hug.

"Thanks for it, Jin. Let's do it again some time! I've got to go now, got to get home by tomorrow. Bye!"

And she's gone. Jin closes the door again. He waits there for a few minutes, trying to see if someone else would show up. He finally decides to go upstairs to see exactly how messed up his bedroom is. As he goes towards it, he spots a closet door. The green light isn't on. He dimly wonders why someone would lock a closet and opens it again. An extremely naked Ogre leaps out, clinging to Jin.

"JIN!" he says in a strangely high-pitched voice. "You won't believe it! It was Anna, and… she… we… she did wonderful, filthy things to me! She's taken my purity away from me! I'm sorry I sullied your holy ground!"

Jin stares at the closet and sighs.

"If you 'sullied' my leather trench coat, I'll kill you." He mutters under his breath. Ogre doesn't notice.

"...and she just didn't care! I… I… I must clean myself!" he screeches and runs off towards the bathroom. Jin looks down on Anna. She smiles faintly and waves at him.

"I don't know quite how to feel right now." Jin states.

"Your entire house is aphrodisiac, Jin. Can I stay here for a while?"

Jin looks blankly at her and closes the door. He goes on towards the bedroom, dreading the worst. He looks inside and sees an almost perfect bedroom. Just the bed looked like a battlefield. He sighs in relief and sits down on the bed. He spots G.J. standing in the corner.

"Shit! Hide, damn you, hide!" a voice says. He squeezes against the wall. Jin gets up and leaves. He goes down the stairs. A light flashes in his eyes.

"OH GOD!" he howls, covers his eyes and falls down the remaining steps. Law takes the picture from the camera and shakes it.

"Unexpected pictures are the best, you know. Even when the target is hung-over beyond words."

Jin looks up at him.

"I don't own a Polaroid camera. Where did you get that?"

"Kitchen." Law says, shrugs and hands him the picture. It looks slightly like the newly awakened koalas you see on Animal Planet.

"I'll keep it close to my heart." He says dryly. The door opens. Law spins around and takes a picture before seeing who is there. When they see who it is, they both stare, their eyes and mouths wide open. Law slowly takes the picture and shakes it just as slowly. In the doorway is King, holding a pink leash. In the other end of the leash is Lei, wearing a disturbing Catwoman outfit, fake whiskers and make-up. He looks very, very sad. King gives the leash a tug.

"Say it."

Lei look down on the ground and mumble something.

"Louder!" King snarls at him.

"I…love…kitty-cats." He says, barely loud enough to make out the words.

"Atta boy! Let's go down-town to proclaim your newfound love to the world, shall we?" King leans towards Jin and Law. "He called me Kitty. I'm punishing him."

"Oh." They both whisper. King and Lei turns around and leaves. Jin is about to close the door, but he notices that Lei is wearing high-heel boots. Jin and Law stares at his unnatural movements for a moment.

"How gay." Jin points out and closes the door. They look at each other once the door is closed. Jin snatches the picture and put it in his pocket.

"Blackmailing. Shouldn't you get home?"

"I'm waiting for Paul to wake up. He drives me everywhere, you know."

"He didn't take you here."

Law seems to be about to argue with him, when he realizes it's true.

"Yeah… how strange."

They're silent for a while.

"Coffee?" Jin offers.

"Latte?"

"I didn't say gay coffee, did I? Just plain coffee."

Ogre stumbles towards the bedroom, mumbling strange things to himself. He tears the door open and rushes inside. He trips on the furry carpet and collapses into the bathtub. He tries to get up, but feels a hand on his lower back.

"So… I don't have to chase you." A masculine voice purrs.  
"Paul!" Ogre gasps. "NO!"

He tries desperately to get out of the bathtub, but somehow Paul manages to keep him down. He pulls the shower drapes, covering the unholy act up. Ogre's final, agonized scream wakes Nina up. She was sleeping under a pile of old towels. She stretches and grimaces when her butt ache returns. She gets up and gives the shower drapes a questioning look. She then shrugs and decides it's better to be safe than sorry. She gets out and meets up with Anna in the hallway. They stare at each other for a while before they gasp simultaneously.

"You WHORE!" they both say at the exact same time. They frown at each other.

"What do you mean? All I did was to wake Ogre's sleeping lusts…"

"I have been chasing Paul for months, I think I deserved that…"

"…you have no right to call me that because I enjoy the company of 'starving' men…"

"…is it my fault that my lover has also been every one else's lover? I…"

"You…!"

"We…!"

"I…!"

They finally run out of stupid things to say. They both look a little embarrassed.

"So, uh… was he any good?" Nina asks very quietly.

"Yeah. I don't think he's done it in decades."

"Huh… any special Aztec sex things?"

"There was one thing, but I had to promise not to tell anyone."

"Bummer."

"But I did introduce him to my special Irish thing. You know what, right?"

"The thing with the thumb and his toes?"

"No, the other one."

"Oh, that. Did he like it?"

Anna grins and nods. Nina copies her moves. Anna scratches the back of her neck.

"So… did you get what you expected?"

"Well, no… He did just what Jin did to me a little earlier. I should've kept King around to see if that had made it more interesting."

"King? I bet he's a tiger in the sack."

They laugh weakly at the equally weak joke. They finally run out of reasons to laugh. Anna clears her throat.

"Do I smell coffee?" Nina asks. Anna nods. "Let's go down and ask for a cup or two."

They go towards the stairs.

"God, my ass hurts!" Nina hisses.

Jin stands in the doorway, waving to the crowd of people. Hwoarang, Anna and Nina were walking towards the city, hoping to catch a bus somewhere. Paul and Law were as usually taking Paul's motorcycle back to Law's place. Ogre, Dr. B., Eddy, Bryan and Heihachi was nowhere to be found. Mokujin had disappeared while everyone was drinking coffee. Jin closes the door and sighs in relief. He looks around and smiles. There isn't very much to clean up. He goes into the living room. A pair of feet sticks up from behind the couch. Jin rolls his eyes and checks who it is. The DJ's bloodshot eyes look up at him.

"Yo… bitch!" he manages to say, just very slowly. Jin takes his hand and pulls him to his feet.

"You have to leave now."

The DJ grimaces.

"Not so loud… please…" he mumbles, packs his stuff and walks, also extremely slowly, towards the door. Jin looks around. He shrugs and leaves the living room in the state of horrifying untidiness. He wonders for a moment where everyone is. Just as the thought passes through his mind, the basement door opens. Heihachi comes out and gives Jin a murder glare.

"You punk." He mutters. "Because of you and your fancy ass doors, I had to spend all night in the basement with a dislocated arm and these two dimwits."

Eddy and Bryan come up, laughing like never before. They talk to each other in a strange, slurred way. They say something to Jin, loudly, and then proceed towards the door, laughing even harder. Jin grins at Heihachi.

"I understand your pain."

"Shut up and get me to a hospital!"

"No way."

"Fine… You drive like a red-headed fat chick anyway."

He tries to push towards Jin's shoulder as he passes, but forgets that was his dislocated one. He screams loudly and falls to the floor. Jin glances at him and leaves him there.

"FINE! Walk away! You do that! I never liked you anyway!" Heihachi roars. He gets up to his feet and goes out, taking the car keys with him. Jin goes back to the kitchen and sits down, thinking.

"Just me, Ogre and the weird doctor here now. I wonder where they are." He says to himself. He hears steps coming down the stairs and looks out. Ogre comes down. Extremely. Slowly. He stares out into his own personal universe and has a facial expression resembling that of a goldfish. Jin raises an eyebrow.

"Ogre? What's wrong?"

Ogre stops at the end of the stairs, just standing there. He still stares at nothing.

"Ogre?"

A muscle near the corner of his mouth twitches. He opens his mouth.

"…Paul…" he whispers and walks in a strange way towards the door. Jin gives him a sympathetic look and then forgets all about him. He leans back against the back of the chair.

"Let's see…" he said to himself. "Yoshimitsu and Julia ran off with my mother's bed sheets, someone threw up in my bedroom, Heihachi got locked inside the basement, my living room looks horrible, there's no beer left, my cheese is ruined and people had sex all over the place."

He nods slowly, looks up at the roof and frowns.

"What a horrible, fricking night."

Dr. B. wakes up and looks around. The only thing he sees is trees. All over the place. He guesses that he is, in fact, in a forest. He tries to move, just to find that he can't. He looks down and sees that he's taped to a tree and gagged with a pine cone and some more tape. It's very uncomfortable. He looks around again and suddenly Mokujin pops up out of nowhere. Dr. B. mumbles something. Mokujin cocks his head to one side and gives him a curious look.

"Mrrgh!" Dr. B. growls. Somehow Mokujin manages to smile evilly. He shows the doctor the small stick he's holding. The doctor sees it and shakes his head. He tries to scream loudly as Mokujin starts poking him…


End file.
